Winging It

For the past two weeks, there has been a Cardinal slamming himself against the sun porch window. Nothing I do discourages him. Today, he has decided he needs a little more momentum, so he flies back a few feet and then slams into the window. I shooed him away, I hung things so he could see it was a window, but he persists. We've named him Adam. Dearest Adam, you have all of the "out there" just for you, and you continue to insist that you want something that isn't in your own best interests. In fact, what you're doing is dangerous and will eventually result in harm or death. You even bring a friend now and then, and encourage her to do the same thing. If nothing else, I thank you for giving me a picture this morning of what my life sometimes looks like to God. "Dearest Michelle, please quit slamming yourself against that window. I have something so much better for you." 

Take a moment and re-evaluate your path today. Are you walking in His will, or are you beating yourself against a wall of your own choosing?

Hide It Under A Bush, Oh No

I've been thinking about the sermon yesterday. That's good, right? LOL Pastor Joe talked about Genesis 3, and it always breaks my heart. That part of Genesis, I mean. The part where God is walking in the garden, and His children hide, and He calls out "where are you?". I remember the old days, when clothes racks in stores were round and my little boys would hide in them. They'd disappear, and I'd have a long moment of panic. "Where are you?!" And then I'd find them, and be both relieved and mad at the same time. It's that feeling of dread that comes back to me when I read Genesis 3. How God must have felt when His kids went "missing". The frantic searching, straining to hear their voices to know that they were OK. I want to say I'm better than that, that I would never have touched the forbidden fruit, that I'd never hide from God, but that's not true. I think this story pains my heart because it's so close to my own truth. How many days does God cry out "Michelle, where ARE you?". Where is your mind? Where is your heart? Where is your praying voice? Where ARE you? I long to walk with you, to counsel you, to lead you and give you direction, but you've gone missing. Please come out. I love you. No matter what you've done, I still love you. So, today, I ask myself, and you, where ARE you? It's time to come out of hiding. God longs for relationship with you, and it's not Him who is quiet. He's crying out your name, and you're in the bushes. Come out! Confess. Repent. Be freed, and then go back and burn that silly bush you were in. Genesis 3

The Battle's Already Been Won

Dear young mommy, 
I was right there where you are. Trying to tap some non-existent inner reserve that would make me feel rested. Looking for the "best" way to parent. Wondering if I was doing it right, and if this was the way being a mommy was supposed to feel. One day runs into one long night, one mess turns into many, you never get that shower, and it's the first time in your life you're wearing the same underwear two days in a row. I remember. I won't give you advice, you already get plenty of that. It just makes you more confused. I will tell you this, you won't always get it right, but it's OK. God's got your back. He'll take all those "I wish I had/hadn't" episodes and turn them into something amazing. He'll show your child that love is messy sometimes, that forgiveness goes two ways, and that imperfections can be beautiful. So, take a breath, wipe your tears, and walk back into the battle. I'm praying for you. It's going to be alright.

Proverbs 31
Matthew 19:14

An Unpopular Opinion on Halloween

The headlines this week spoke of a woman who died while scaling a fence in an attempt to escape her violent partner.  She got caught on the fence and was killed and her body hung there for days because everyone thought she was a Halloween decoration.  

I hate Halloween. I have always hated Halloween. OK, maybe not when I was a kid. Back then I was willing to suffer the agony of a sweaty mask and plastic costume in exchange for a couple pounds of chocolate. That has changed as the adult years have crept in and, along with those, the reality of the world we live in. I think about the people for whom blood, gore, and violence are not artificial. While we are decorating our yards with severed limbs, they are seeing them in their marketplace after the bombs go off.  While we are celebrating monsters, they are running for their lives from them. 

You're saying "That's not what it's all about, it's about dressing up your kids and going out for a little fun". I hear you, I've been told that many times over the years.  I'm not questioning your motives or looking to throw a wrench in the works.  I know your toddler in a fairy princess costume isn't scary.  What is scary to me about Halloween is that it conditions us to gaze upon horrific images and see them as unreal and by doing so we no longer react.  We drive past impaled effigies, or men of straw hanging by their necks from trees, and we do not even blink.  We seek out the "House of Horror" where we can be chased by actors wielding chain saws and hatchets and we call it fun.   Heaven forbid we should ever experience this type of evil as our own personal reality like so many others. The fact that a young woman lost her life in a violent manner and the passers by did not cringe at the sight of her body on that fence makes me ill.

Our time is short and we are allowing the devil to gain too much ground. We have been sitting and it is long past time for us to stand. Ephesians 6:10 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground..."

Jesus Wept

Not a single one of us looks forward to the death of someone dear to us. It is the deepest of all aches and we want desperately to avoid it. While we try so hard to walk through the grief we sometimes forget that it is a tribute to those we lost for the people who valued them to "feel". It is an outward and inward demonstration of the immeasurable amount of love we had for them. I don't think we understand that in our culture. We want so badly to take away everyone's pain that we don't allow the people who need to express it to do so. It's OK to hurt today. Pain is like a shovel in our soul. It digs through all the petty arguments and all the perceived little wounds that keep us separated from one another on a daily basis. It pitches those to the side and allows compassion to rise to the surface. It opens our heart's doors to people we would not have let in before. It gives us the opportunity to both run to each other and to God. "2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

Straining To Hear

I had a lot on my mind all day yesterday, and was having one of those frustrated "where are you God?" conversations with myself at the kitchen sink. I do my best talking to myself, especially over dishes, where I can say things like "if you had used more butter, you wouldn't have to scrub the egg off the pan like that". Well, in the midst of being attentive to my own babbling, I picked up the strainer out of the dish drain, and God gave me a little nudge. One of those Spirit nudges that said "hey, do you remember how much you hated your old strainer? How the one edge was broken and every time you used it to make iced tea it would dump some leaves back in the pot? Then you stopped at that yard sale, and you actually had cash, and there was an almost brand new one just for you? That was me. I love you, and I care about even the smallest parts of your life." Darn it, I was wallowing in myself so well until that moment. So, the "where are you God?" was answered with "right here". Right here so close that I am watching you make tea, and seeing you struggle with a piece of broken plastic. That's close, people. That's not "God is way up there, and I am way down here", that's "hi, I'm in your kitchen with you" close. Is the "where are you God, do you not even hear me?" question on your tongue today? It's an easy one to ask when life is hard. Look over your shoulder. He's right there. Don't believe it? Open your Bible. Find the many places where it says "the Lord heard". He is hearing you. He sees your struggle. He is right there. That is where God is today. Deuteronomy 26:7 "Then we cried out to the Lord, the God of our fathers, AND THE LORD HEARD..."

Locked Out. Forever.

Something I've learned in the past 24 hours is the importance of keeping my cell phone in my pocket. I figured that out pretty quickly when I was running barefoot through the snow and praying that the back door wasn't as locked as the front door.  Going out to get that package on the porch when no one else was home was a very bad idea.  Especially without keys in my pocket.  It's all about being prepared.  People prepare for lots of things.  They plan on getting to work the next day by setting up the coffee maker the night before.  They pack a bag for the hospital when the baby is due.  We prepare for emergencies, and birthdays, and even car breakdowns, but how prepared are you today to die?  Oh, bet you weren't expecting that question this morning.  In a blink, life is done.  Faster than that door locked behind me, your chance to get ready for life after death is done.  Where is your heart today? What do you believe?  How have you prepared to stand before the Lord this morning?

Luke 12:16 And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. 17 He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' 18 "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." ' 20 "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself ?"